5 Things I've Learned: Melinda Pavek
Friday, October 18, 2024
Melinda Pavek, ’03 MBA, is a person of the world. Her role as a U.S. State Department foreign service officer has taken her from Japan to Pakistan, Brune to Iraq, Nepal to Jamaica—and that’s not all, and not necessarily in that order. This year, she is finishing her term as the U.S. consul general to Kolkata, India, which began in 2021. Prior to joining the foreign service, she worked as supply chain senior analyst at Johnson & Johnson.
1. There is inherent goodness and a shared motivation in most people.
The majority of people are inherently good and motivated by the same things—meeting the basic needs of their family and self and being treated fairly and with respect by the people around them, as well as feeling supported by the social and community norms within which they exist. Even as an introvert, it is personally and professionally rewarding to make the effort to get to know new people and cultures.
2. We all carry trauma from different sources, but some carry more.
While we have all experienced some level of trauma in our lives and must learn positive coping and healing behaviors, some people are crying out for help because they have been deeply injured in some way, often through no fault of their own. I may not be the person who is able to help them, but I should try not to make things worse for them and those around them.
3. Self comes first.
Like oxygen masks on airplanes, it is much harder to build esteem in others if you do not have self-esteem. A compassionate world flowers from self-compassion. Societal awareness grows from self-awareness. Community resilience is built on a foundation of self-resilience. This is not a message of selfishness, but rather one of recognizing the vital role of healing and empowering individuals to build a better world for all.
A compassionate world flowers from self-compassion. Societal awareness grows from self-awareness. Community resilience is built on a foundation of self-resilience.
4. Other people can’t read your mind...and, sometimes you can’t either.
Communication, communication, communication. While there are similarities, no two human brains, with their individual systems, behave exactly the same. Getting curious about why people think about things in a certain way can help to uncover hidden assumptions that get in the way of reaching shared goals or living in harmony. Applying curiosity to our own motivations and thought processes is also valuable.
5. Giving feedback is a superpower.
Learning how to give positive and constructive feedback in a clear, timely, specific, respectful way is a superpower available to every person. It starts with being open to receiving feedback.
This article appeared in the Fall 2024 alumni magazine
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